Final Presentation

     "Hello and welcome everybody. Now I know it's been a long semester and I'm the last presenter. So I'll try not to make this shit to painful. Oops! Oh shit sorry. Wait no sorry about that last one too," you look over at your unimpressed professor who's sitting in the back of the classroom. "I'm going to fail aren't I?" The professor just sits in the back of the room silently laughing to herself waving for you to continue. You dip underneath the closed lectern to grab something. As you grab it, it slips out of your hand. You begin to curse it to the high heavens for dropping as you slowly come up. Your classmates are all giggling at you like a bunch of school girls. "This my fellow classmates is a rare preciouses stone." You hold the stone up like it's Simba. "This pre-cio-use stone has been in my family for the past," you pause for dramatic build up, "TWO HOURS," you proudly announce,  "since I grabbed it out of my garden this morning." Your classmates begin to laugh not being able to contain themselves from your foolishness. While your professor sits in the back of the class room with a dumbfounded look on her face. You begin to examine the rock and notice a blood stain on it. You hold up one finger to settle down your classmates. "I truly most apologize everyone. It seems I have given you the wrong biography about this stone." You ease your way to the document camera and zoom in on the stain. "As you can see there is a dark blood stain on this stone," you try to point out the stain but end up covering more than half of it, "this stain can be dated back to six months ago. When I came home quit discombobulated," your class mates chuckle at your clever choice of words. "From a..." you stumble looking for the right words to say, "a not frat party," you shrug your shoulders trying your hardest not to discredit yourself. "Anyway as I was coming in my house I lost my footing slipped and fell on this rock," you pull up your sleeve to show everyone your scar. "As you can see the rock got a couple of good licks in but in the end I was the one that walked away," you shoot a dirty look at the rock. "Well that's all I have for you all today. Does anyone have any questions?" The whole classroom is silent you look it over to make sure you don't miss anyone. Every face you pass has the same look. Eyes wide open and the mouth slightly ajar. The only person that doesn't have this look is your very very pissed professor. At the end of class your professor hands the grades back. You sit there at your desk with a big grin on your face. Your professor approaches you giving you the death stare. You flash your pearly white back at her. She drops the paper face down and quickly walks away. As you're leaving the class room you flip over the paper to check your grade.